OnMyMind

Nick orders: Big Mac meal and a McDouble with no pickles, no ketchup, add lettuce and mac sauce.
Justin orders: Junior Chicken and a McDouble only cheese.

-20 minutes of waiting-

Nick receives: Big Mac meal
Justin receives: Junior Chicken and a McDouble with pickles, mustard, mayonnaise, onions, lettuce and cheese.

I took two bites of Justin’s mistake burger and he and Nick went to go re-order.

-5 minutes of waiting-

Nick receives: Normal McDouble.
Justin receives: Nothing.

I found a crayon and wrote down the mods Nick wanted on some random thing I found and handed it to the cashier.

-10 minutes of waiting-

Nick receives: What he wants, finally.
Justin receives: Half-eaten McDouble with pickles, mustard, mayonnaise, onions, lettuce and cheese.

McDonald’s: Fast service of sub-par food until about 11pm. Then it’s a shit show.

My friends and I went to a bar in Hull to celebrate one of their 18th birthday’s. After searching for a while to find a bar that was showing the game, had cheap pitchers and appetizers, we finally found one.

Upon entering we got ID’d by some really old guy and my brother didn’t have an ID. The old guy looked at my ID for less than a second so while he was looking at my friend’s, I handed mine off to my brother.. I thought it was funny ‘cause he gave everyone else’s a good look aside from mine and my brother’s.

Anyways, later on my brother went for a smoke and on his way back in, he started talking to some guy at the bar. The guy came over to our table, sat down and told us he had been out of jail for less than three months for hacking, made $120k since his release, was betting $20k on the Sens to win, took steroids, was a black belt in tae kwon do, used to be a pimp and had made a million dollars from nothing multiple times. He had thick black hair and was in really good shape and asked us to guess his age; I guessed 31, thinking he would have been younger but he ended up being 46. Also, despite being in jail, being in tae kwon do, using steroids and measuring his biceps (18” if you were wondering) he claims he’s never lifted a weight.

After the initial introduction he explained that the way to make it through your jail sentence is either shove as much drugs as you can in your ass or keep your head down. Shortly after his jail talk, he just looked at us and says, “Excuse me guys, I’m gonna go crank a line.” When he got back he decided to give us some advice on how to make money:

“Rule 1: Don’t do crack.” He went on to explain how he wished someone would have told him. Apparently he had no idea it was addicting. He says he now has to do it once a month to keep his cravings at bay.

“Rule 2: If you’re gonna fall in love with a bitch, realize you might also end up in the ditch.” He explained how girls are always nice at the start but never shut up so just have sex with them as much as you can and move on.

“Rule 3: Actually, you guys don’t need to know rule three.” Obviously we complained about and he told us he normally charges ten grand for that information but ended up telling us anyways six words he strongly believes in, “Man will be what man believes.”

A while afterwards, the game ended so we were leaving and he initially insisted on going to Ottawa with us but after having a smoke with all the smokers, he decided he wanted to go his own way, telling us he just wanted to get into a fight. He said, “I learned a lot of things in jail. Sometimes you have to wake up and beat the shit out of someone. It will seem weird at first but you get used to it.”

A couple friends went to go buy some 40s of beer from the corner store and while they were gone, some crackhead came out of the bar and offered him speed. He bought two and the guy turned to us and he like flipped on the guy saying, “Leave my kids alone, they don’t need that shit.”

My friends came back with the beer so we were about to head out but he was like, “One of those is for me.”
As friendly as he could, my friend was like, “Naw, I just got one for each of-“
“No. One is for me.”
The guy like stared into his soul while saying it so my friend said what anyone would say to a 46-year-old steroid using crackhead wanted one of your beers, “Okay, guess I’m getting another beer.”

Finally, we got to leave and he told us to add him on facebook.

‘cause.. ‘cause it means pocket monsters.. and when I put my hand in my pocket, I can touch my “mon-” actually I don’t feel like explaining.